


Blue and Pink Stripes

by bornthisrenglorypath



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anger Management, Anorexia, Anxiety Disorder, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Dark Past, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Loneliness, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Instability, Parent/Child Incest, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 07:29:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19998178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornthisrenglorypath/pseuds/bornthisrenglorypath
Summary: Lee Felix moved to a whole new town after his mother discovered rhe dark secrets Felix hid from her.





	1. Chapter One: Pink Flowers

His name was Lee Rowan. That was a long time ago. That was a different person. His name now is Lee Felix. He sat in the car that was pack with only the bare necessities. Felix's mother drove for hours before Felix spotted the sign to their new town." You had to move us to a town that's named Pushrigde." Felix said in his low voice. After months of secretly working his voice to go deeper and deeper he finally reached the pitch he wanted." It was the place with the nicest house and far from the old town." His mother said. Felix only untangled his ear buds and turned on his playlist Cassettes and Cigarettes on Spotify. It was quiet the few minutes of the trip to their new house. A moving vehicle with all their brand new furniture was already unloadin everything." Ro- Felix it's time for your shots." His mother said taking the boys inside the new house. She quickly got his testosterone shot ready before cleaning the area on his body before carefully giving him the shot. Felix tensed instinctively and his mother sighed knowing her poor son would be bruised after that." It's alright I'm done. You got your shot it okay." His mother said before going outside to drag some of the furniture in. Felix just went to the car to grab their few bags and boxes of important things. After about fifteen minutes he came across a box labeled "Rowan". Felix instantly felt upset as he brought the box to his room and hid it in the back of his closet. After a few hours Felix and his mom had their house furnished and the boxes mostly unpacked." Felix do you need your medicine." The older woman asked as her son nodded a bit. She smiled sadly as she dug around in he purse and began to take out his various medications." Nutrient pills too?" Felix just nodded at the question as he wanted to avoid conversation. Soon enough five different mental health medications and at least tweleve different nutrition medications. His mother gave him a nutrition shake knowing he wasn't up for eating and she didn't want to argue. Felix quickly took his seventeen pills before finishing off the shake." Goodnight Mom..." He whispered. She went to hug her son who instantly shyed away from her.", Right sorry." She said before giving him a supportive smile." My room is just upstairs if you need anything hun. You can just yell for me or tap loudly next to the baby monitor." His mother said. Felix sighed upon hearing his mother set up the baby monitors."I know you don't like it but after what happened it needs to be done." His mother said. Felix just nodded and went upstairs.to the bathroom and takjng a quick shower. Felix dried himself off and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He hated his slightly round face he feminine skinny body. He hated one the things most. His C sized boobs. Felix glared at his reflection before quickly getting dressed and letting himself linger a few minutes longer before going to his room and collapsing on the bed.


	2. Chapter Two: Blue Robots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright it's your author here saying there is a flashback to a rape moment. if you want to skip this skip whats written in italics.

Felix woke up from his nap roughly five hours later. His mother was cooking dinner and talking to someone. As nervous as Felix was he got his chest binder and a baggy t-shirt on before walking downstairs and spotting a few people in the dining area talking with his mother." Yeah, we moved here after Felix got bullied. I wanted to keep him safe." His mother said. Felix walked down the last few steps and turned to the kitchen." Hello, I'm Felix." Felix said making his voice go as deep as he could. The people all greeted themselves and telling him about their kids who all were hanging out at the park. Felix glanced at his mom and gave her a pleading looking." Could I go to the park." Felix asked. The woman hesitated and thought about it. She really didn't trust Felix after the incident.

**Flashback**

_Felix had just turned five and his father had brought him out to the park."Now, Rowan, stay close to daddy okay." The older man said as Felix just nodded. He stayed close to the older man's side. Felix was very attached to his father. He knew his father would protect him. He thought his father would protect him. Soon enough Felix had strayed away from his father's side as he was thinking." daddy?" Felix said in a scared voice before running off to find him. The poor five-year-old was running around looking for his father in such a panic. When Felix went through the whole park he found his dad sitting in his car quietly talking on the phone." Daddy." Felix said as he quickly ran to the car and got in the back seat. Felix's father saw the boy in the rearview mirror and hung up the phone before grabbing Felix and bringing him to the front seat." Rowan sweetie where were you." The older man asked in a faked upset voice. Felix told him everything that had happened. The older male just sighed and set the young child on his lap before buckling the seatbelt and driving off to the old mall parking lot." Rowan, I told you countless times not to daydream and now I have to punish you." The older man said before setting Felix in the back seat of the car. Felix just sat there confused as he waited for whatever punishment awaited him. Felix's father got out of the front seat and took off his pants before climbing into the backseat where Felix was. The older man took off Felix's My Little Pony shorts and his underwear before forcing the young boy onto the floor of the car." Now, Rowan, I want you to know this hurts me just as much as it hurts you." Felix's father said before taking off his boxers and grabbing Felix by his ponytail and forcing the child to scoot closer to his crotch." And remember mommy can't find out how bad you were today. This punishment is a secret understood." Felix nodded after a few moments of silence. His father forced the child to suck on him off for a few minutes before lifting him up by the underarms. As Felix got lifted up off the floor he began to scream and cry for his mom. His father just held his hand over Felix's mouth as he began to rape his own child. Felix screamed and cried as loud as he could manage before ultimately giving up and just cried quietly. This continued for nearly an hour. Once Felix's father had finally stopped and got Felix and himself dressed they returned home to find the woman had made a plate of cookies just for Felix._

**Flashback Ends**

The woman sighed a bit as she remembered that day her son came home and instantly ran to her for comfort. She didn't notice anything wrong at first but as time went on she noticed how Felix never wanted to leave her side or be anywhere alone with his father. She still didn't know the true extent of the trauma her son endured. " I suppose it's okay but be back before it gets dark." She said knowing Felix was terrified of the dark. Felix smiled and quickly hugged her before putting on his shoes and leaving the front door. He had his cellphone headphones and his pepper spray. Just in case something happened


	3. Chapter Three: Pink Dress

Felix wandered around the streets for a while before making his way to the park. He walked to the swingset and sat down before pulling out his phone and looking at the pictures he had. Most were of things his mother texted him or pictures of dogs. He soon came across a folder just titled "Rowan and Daddy". Felix knew he shouldn't look in the picture folder. He knew he should've just deleted it. Felix didn't he opened to folder and began to swipe through the photos. The tears began to fall from his eyes as he stared at a picture of him and his father hugging. Felix remembered that day. He had got caught trying to make himself look more masculine and he ended up getting caught by his father who beat him mercilessly for it. He took Felix to a store and bought him a bunch of girly clothes and makeup before forcing him to wear the clothes and makeup. Felix did as asked. He always did. The thoughts of his father flooding into his mind caused the boy to start crying loudly. Felix just cried and cried as he tried to force himself to stop thinking about his father. It didn't work. The memories and the emotions didn't stop. Felix just couldn't calm himself down. He could only focus on the overwhelming pressure beginning to build in his mind. Because of his crying he began to hyperventilate which in the end caused him to pass out and fall face first into the sand.

**Fpashbaxk**

_He was eight years old. Felix was eight. The young boy was hyper and seemingly happy but that was all just a front he put up. It was his mask. Felix was sat in his class just playing with thw papers in front of him. The assignment given to him was to write a paragraph on his best memory. His mind was only filled with the memories of his father. Felix knew he couldn't write any of those. His father would find out if he did and then Felix would be punished. The mere thought of a punishment brought tears to his eyes. Felix looked around to make sure that no one was paying attention to him. The boy quickly went behind the teachers desk and took a boxcutter she had behind the desk. Felix could only remember one thing his older cousin told him. Pain makes the memories be quiet. At this point Felix was desperate for it to stop. The teacher was still occupied in teaching the class about commas. Felix quietly opened the boxcutter and placed it on his wrist taking a deep breath before quicklg dragging it across his wrist. He watched as the blood came to the surface before doing it again and again._

**Flashback Ends**

__Felix hears people shouting and the sound of his mother's crying. Felix went to sit up but got pushed back down." Stay laying down for a bit." The person said. Felix being the good listener he is stayed laying on the ground until he was told he could sit up with the help of a few people." What happened." Felix asked as he noticed a group of boys, two paramedics and his mother." Well you passed out and hit your head pretty hard on a rock when you fell but you'll be alright." A paramedic explained as Felix's mother ran over and held her son close to her and cried a bit as she rambled about how she thought she'd lost her son. Felix could only comfort her with one lingering thought in his head. "Why couldn't I have died that night"


	4. Chapter Four: Blue Cars

It was a few days after the incident in the park Felix's mother went through his phone and deleted anything that could trigger memories of his father. Felix hadn't slept the two days after his mother deleted the photos. He didn't want to forget his father but everyone in his life told him he had to forget. Felix sat in his room blasting his music with headphones on as he quietly practiced origami. His mother had walked into the room with a bowl of cream of wheat." Felix. It's time to eat." His mother said as she put the bowl down and carefully tapped Felix's shoulder. Felix jumped and instinctively curled up trying to hide himself. His mother instantly felt bad for scaring him. After a few moments Felix took his headphones off." What's wrong mom." He asked as he set the half finished origami butterfly aside. Felix glanced at the bowl before looking down." I'm not hungry mom. You can take the food out to the kitchen I'll eat it later." Felix said. His mother knew he wouldn't eat it later. She knew he'd throw it away and just drink water for meals again. The long silence that followed after Felix's comment made an uncomfortable tension fill the air. After nearly losing her child to anorexia nervosa she made it her personal goal to.make sure Felix never got to that point ever again." Felix you need to eat it. I've let you have just nutrition drinks and your nutrition medications for the past few days. You are going to eat." His mother said as she sat down next to her son. Felix just got up and grabbed his hoodie before grabbing his headphones a few cassette tapes and his Walkman. His mom tried to get him to sit down." Felix please don't push me away." She said in a very sad tone. Felix just stormed downstairs and got his shoes on as his mother began to shout for him to calm down. Felix ignored her and took off running out the door. Felix ran down the street while crying. He wandered the streets of his new town crying quietly. Felix wasn't paying attention to where he was going which caused him to run into somebody. Felix being a lot smaller and weaker than the person he ran into fell to the ground." Are you okay!?" The person asked. Felix nodded a bit." Yeah I'm fine sorry I wasn't paying attention." Felix said quickly before getting up and brushing off the dirt. He avoided looking at the person. Felix hoped the person would just leave him alone." I'm Seo Changbin." Changbin said as he held out a hand. Felix nervously shook Changbin's hand." I'm Lee Felix. I just moved here." Felix mumbled. The two stood there awkwardly for a few moments." You look like you've got a lot on your mind. Do you wanna walk and talk." Changbin asked. This caught Felix by surprise. After the incidents with his father he never really trusted people or talked about how he felt." Sure." Felix said before starting to walk. It was quiet the first ten minutes of walking." So can I ask why you moved here?" Changbin asked. Felix hesitated for a moment before sighing a bit." I was bullied in school and I suffered a lot of trauma from my dad." Felix said quietly." My father was arrested and I have to go to court to testify against him." Changbin nodded a bit." Is it okay if ask what happened?" Changbin asked quietly. Felix hesitated and fidgeted with his hoodie sleeves." I was molested and raped countless times and beaten everytime I disobeyed or tried to make myself feel more comfortable in my skin." Felix mumbled. Changbin looked at Felix and noticed he was crying. Changbin took out some tissues and handed them to Felix." Its better to cry than keep it bottled up." Changbin said quietly as Felix began to wipe away his tears. Changbin walked Felix to the park where they sat down at a bench. Changbin comforted Felix for nearly four hours before Felix decided to return home." Here let me give you my number so you can talk to me if you need to or if you just want to hang out." Changbin said as he took out a sharpie and wrote his number on Felix's arm.


End file.
